This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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