He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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