is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
