I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
