he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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