Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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