Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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