my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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