I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize