she was so not down for the gang bang
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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