Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
