She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize