This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
