Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
