I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
