East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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