she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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