Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
