So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
