the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
