Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
