he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
