Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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