No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
