We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
