Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
