have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need water and some morals
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
