DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
