On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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