Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i barfeds in our rink
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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