Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize