I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
