I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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