I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
