Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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