i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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