I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
