Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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