Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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