I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize