I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
