Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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