Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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