I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
