the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
