you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
