Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
