found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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