You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
