i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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