Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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