It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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