coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
