For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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