i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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