whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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