i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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