I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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