All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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