: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
