so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
